Waiting

For some reason, when something bad happens in our lives, more piles on before we know what is happening. The good news is that we get lots of periods of happy times. The bad is that we deal with a lot all at once when things take a turn for the worse. Unfortunately, it looks like this year is going to be one of those years.

Recently, LD’s grandfather fell at his house, breaking his arm. While this is a concern, this happens as people get older. What is the big concern? He ended up going to the hospital because he couldn’t feel his arm. Turns out, after some tests that the man has prostate cancer. The cancer has already metastasized to his bones, including the ones in his arm. With my previous knowledge of how cancer proceeds, it is highly likely, based on the lack of feeling in the arm, that the cancer is also in his spine. I doubt that he will be around by the time our wedding rolls around in May.

Now, as much as LD loves his grandfather, I would not say the two are particularly close. His dad, however, spends a lot of his free time with his father and the two of them (from what I have heard) have gotten closer since they both lost their wives within 10 days of each other, 3 years ago. LD’s dad is still quite fragile from the loss of both his wife and mother at the same time (both also to cancer) and has frequently turned to self-medicating as a way of handling things. It is somewhat understandable when you find yourself in a completely empty house between kids going off to college and losing your wife. But, I don’t think he realizes how much it affects his children. LD has confided in me of his fear that if he loses his grandfather he may lose his father as well. I am just sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. At this point, it isn’t a question of if his grandfather dies, it is more a question of when.

But, why rain why it can pour? I received a call from my parents a few days ago about my own self-medicating relative. It seems that a flair for the dramatic mixed with nurse training is a nearly lethal combination. Am I concerned? Yes a little, but I am not currently upset. This is not the first (nor second nor third…) time my aunt has attempted to get attention in a less than ideal manner, and nor will it be the last. I just hope she doesn’t miscalculate or become more frequent.

So here I am. Sitting. Waiting for the next phone call. Waiting for the next update. Hoping it isn’t one that I won’t be able to handle. It is going to be a long year.

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About Danielle Beranek

Life can get away from you when being young, married, and still fairly fresh out of college. Taking on a pet, student loans, going back to school, and soon a new house is enough to leave ones head spinning. For me, life is crazy, but only on the outside.
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